Have you ever
felt that you are just going through life doing the same thing over and over
each day without ever thinking about it? That you are just comfortable with
life and good at mastering your daily routine? Well, this is how I have felt
for the last few months. When the school year started back up, I was so excited
to be back in Norman with my friends. When I
jumped into my classes and “normal” life, I felt right back at home. There were
the football games, date parties, and friends. It all felt right. After a
little while, I started thinking about how I had been doing all of this social
stuff since high school. I realized I was tired of “game days” and all of the
cliché things college was offering me. I was yearning for joy and fulfillment,
but I could not figure out what I needed to do.
For those of you
who do not know, I am Mormon. I have spent my life going to church, reading my
scriptures daily, and praying daily. However, even my spiritual life began
becoming routine with the rest of my life. I knew that my plan was to always go
on a mission after I graduated college. When the age was lowered last year to
19 from 21 for girls, I still felt as though I should go after college. That
way, I could finish college with my friends. I wanted to have my cake and eat
it too. I did not feel the need to make a sacrifice. In late September this year,
I realized what I needed to do was put my wants aside and kneel down and ask
the Lord my path. I realized that I had been putting it off because I was
scared He was going to tell me to go on my mission now. Selfishly, I did not
want that. When I returned from my sister’s wedding, I prayed and studied the
scriptures for my answer. It was the answer I was afraid of. My answer was to
go on my mission now. I could not even be upset because I was so sure this is
what the Lord was telling me to do. The first couple days I cried every time I
thought about it. I did not cry because I thought it was the wrong thing to do,
but because I was scared and nervous. As the week went on, little things kept
happening that comforted me and brought me peace about my decision. I was so
sure that this was the path for me. I told my parents, family, and very close
friends. Some took it harder than others, but I remained confident in my
decision.
As I began
realizing my college experience at OU was coming to an end, I thought about how
I am tired of just feeling “normal.” The truth is that I am not normal, and I
never have been. I am that girl who rarely goes to parties, and if I do I feel
awkward just standing around not drinking. I am the girl who drinks water when
I study, while everyone else drinks coffee. I am the girl who goes to her
3-hour church meetings on Sundays without ever thinking it is too long. I am
the girl who grew up coming from a culture where it is perfectly normal to get
married at age 20 and have 5 kids by the time you are 30. I am a Mormon who
attends the University of Oklahoma and is in a sorority. I have always embraced
being unique. I find comfort with being different. Lately, I feel as though I
have been going with the way of life that is expected for many people. Now, I
feel like I have been hit in the face with what I need to do. The Lord is
telling me to leave all of this worldliness behind and serve a mission for 18
months. Yes, it is scary, but it is something I could not imagine saying no to.
I want this so badly, and I find myself thinking about it all of the time. It
is now hard for me to keep my head in my life now because I find myself
thinking ahead. I cannot wait for what life brings. I am more engaged in my
daily scripture study and my prayers. I literally depend on the Lord daily for
strength. I see a complete difference in my life, and I see the blessings that
have come my way. I feel as though I have slowly started to remove things from
my life that distract me from my eternal goals. I deleted instragram a while
ago because I do not think it is used for the right reasons. It was taking over
my free time in my life. Little things like that have been let go from my life,
and I am a happier person because of it. I feel as though I am free from the
life I had become so comfortable with. I was not necessarily unhappy. I have
great friends and family, and I am thankful for the relationships I have made
at OU. I would not be the person I am today without them. However, I think my
journey so far has been a test for me. I am lucky enough to have learned
everything I have recently right now in my life, instead of later on down the
road. I am incredibly thankful for the gospel in my life and for the joy it
brings me.
I plan to leave
on my 18-month mission in late June and finish my undergraduate degree after I return. For those of you who do not know what a
Mormon mission is, we spread the gospel and help others come onto Christ. Boys
go for 2 years and girls go for 1 year and a half. I have attached a video that
our church made which gives a better understanding of the work done on a
mission. Many people think we go to third world countries and build for them or
something similar to “mission trips” that are so often talked about. On our
missions, we are totally immersed in the gospel, and we have the goal of
sharing it with others. We do not have phones, computers, or any form of electronic communication to our friends and family. The only way to keep in touch is through letters in the mail. Once a week, we do have the opportunity to email our immediate family for an hour, allowing us to share with them the highlights from our week.
I will begin my
paper work in late February and send them in around that time. After they are
sent in, I will receive a call 2-3 weeks later. The Church headquarters in Salt
Lake sends the calls by mail. It truly could be anywhere in the world. My dad
served his mission is Sweden, my mom served in Minnesota, and my sister served
in Seattle.
This is my
story, and I wanted to share it. I am not one to usually do this, but I feel as though I should. I love to write, and truthfully, the Lord has
been too good in my life for me to not share it with the world. I am anxiously
awaiting what lies ahead.
-Genny
